Waiting to Be Old

My whole life I have been waiting to be old. To be constantly amazed

and impressed by the changing sky because my head is not full of to-do lists. To be wandering around smiling for seemingly no reason because I have trained my face to

do so. To look in the mirror and see the amazing lines that have been created by laughter and life. To know that, as I age I am turning invisible to most people, and so to

worry less about what I am wearing and relax into comfortable clothes that I think are cute...the opinion of others flying away like dandelion seeds.

My whole life, I have been waiting to be old. To let go of needing to prove myself and relax solely into encouraging others and articulating the wonder of their existence. To

understand that while I cannot do everything (and never could), I can do some things. To take all the moments to savor something that tastes really good, because I am not

rushing to the next thing.

Yesterday morning, as I wandered around in the pre-dawn light and paused often to be amazed at the shifting color of the sky, I smiled and said to myself, “Congratulations...you have made it to old.” And I wish we lived in a

culture where I could say with confidence, “it is good to be old” without people immediately saying, “oh, you are not old.” As if even mentioning aging is some kind of curse. Alas...I do not. And so I will continue to quietly appreciate being old. Making it here, against all the odds that stood in my way to arrive at old. I will smile at this lovely secret that says, “You made it, dear one.”

Written by Tina Carter. Retired UMC Pastor from the Rio Texas Conference.

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Where the river flows, life abounds.

Ezekiel 47:9b